Show me your commitment Pottinger
Posted September 4th, 2007 in Culture, Advocacy
Paul Pottinger decides that cyclists drive motorists to the 10th circle of hell.
IF Dante was to be reincarnated in Sydney today, he’d add another chapter to his Inferno based purely on his first exposure to the traffic in this Godforsaken metropolis.
There’s no shortage of torments to choose from in this 10th circle of hell - the dysfunctional tunnels, motorways that gridlock in the event of someone sneezing, the perpetual inability of Sydney drivers to indicate.
But it would take Dante’s particular eye for the fiendish to portray the torment inflicted daily on urban drivers by the unlicensed, uninsured, irresponsible and often ridiculously dressed lunatic fringe within the bicycle riding community.
It’s hard to get annoyed anymore by this nonsense from the Telegraph. It’s just a rote opinion piece that reads like a rite of passage for all Telegraph writers. You can hear the conversation.
Editor: “There’s a rite of passage you’ll have to go through to hang around here son.”
Potsy: “It doesn’t involve a farm animal, Absinthe and three root vegetables does it?”
Editor: “Nope, that’s for senior editorial staff promotions. I just want you to write something inflammatory about cyclists.”
Potsy: “Oh! But why bother? Isn’t cycling supposed to be cool? Good for the environment and all that. A transport solution?”
Editor: “No, no,no,no, you won’t get far with that attitude son, around here cyclists are persona non grata, filthy animals, and we try to remind readers of that at least three times a year…..like clockwork.”
Potsy: “But……”
Editor: “No buts, you want to fit in here don’t you?”
Potsy: “Well, yeah, and I do like kicking the weak and defenseless when they’re down.”
Editor: “That’s the spirit, I could see when we hired you that you had it in you. You’ll do well here with that attitude.”
Potsy: “Gee, thanks, but what do I say….how do I start?”
Editor: :Well Potsy just off the top of my head (which is how I do most of my editorializing) a real pro might craft a passage like this.”
Editor: “But it would take Dante’s particular eye for the fiendish to portray the torment inflicted daily on urban drivers by the unlicensed, uninsured, irresponsible and often ridiculously dressed lunatic fringe within the bicycle riding community.
Clad like mad parrots, they’re the pedalling prima donnas who demand the right to occupy a transit lane at peak hour, causing buses full of commuters to crawl and cars to make lane-lurching manoeuvres.”
Potsy: “Can I say how much that reads like pure poetry……..even prose, sir?”
Editor: “Of course you can. In fact just for that perceptive comment you just got a promotion. I’ll even let you use it. Now come over here a really show me your commitment Potsy.”
Potsy: “Oh, I dunno….?
Editor: “You said you wanted to fit in here didn’t you?”
Elsewhere: CFSMTB is also bored stiff by this.
technorati tags: cycling, advocacy, satire
What others have to say…
September 4th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
This piece is seriously only of interest for it’s mild entertainment value, and observing the author get a right shellacking by the proles.
BTW - also of interest is how the online article had the comments pulled early this afternoon. So much for doublespeak, um, er ‘freedom of the press’.
I’ve got a half-baked theory that this news limited crap is on it’s last legs due to Ruperts swing over to being ‘green’ and a new editorial policy could be on the way. Or maybe my half-baked theory is crap too.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:50 am
“torment inflicted daily on urban drivers” My goodness, what a panty waist ninnie. Traffic hell is inflicted by all of the other motorists on the road. If it wasn’t for all of them cars and lights and intersections impeding his way, Little Miss Pottinger could motor in complete freedom.
September 5th, 2007 at 11:10 am
Brilliant piece of flowery prose Potsy, if only I could understand it.My mental capacities have been seriously diminished via carbon monoxide driven dementia and bouncing off bumper bars. All I can do now is sit at home on my disabled pension and grow mung beans ( and hydoponic products that we will not talk about)Must go as I need to be at the APEC rally. Please feel free to jump on the wagon when you next get desperate for a headline or else you will be demoted to the Animal Reporter at the Wagga Wagga Tribune
September 5th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
The thing I love about stories like this is the assertion that it is wrong, nay immoral!, for a cyclist to delay a motorist by even a few seconds.
That mentality that even a moment’s delay is a moment too much and should not be tolerated by motorists is one of the weirdest things in the transport debate.
September 5th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Yawn. Wake me when it gets interesting…
Mind if I join in, though belatedly?
Ignoring the deeply alarming levels of puerility evinced by some of you, observe that I said “lunatic fringe” of cyclists. Does that apply to all of you? Perhaps it does …
In any case my column can still be read online, where some half-a-dozen I’ve written this year alone on he abysmal standard of driving in Sydney have published.
Based on this forum, the ignorance of too many drivers is at least matched by the God complex certain cyclists display - onroad and online.
If you anything constructive to suggest towards making our roads more civilised (designated cycle lanes?) why don’t you use your increasing numbers to pressure local and state government?
Indeed, why not national cycle to work days? Surely more commuters would be prepared to ride rather than did walk in the recent pedestrian equivalent.
Ermmm … Paul? National Ride to Work Day was last week.
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yep. its a bit old hat really. the article didn’t even stir any minor thoughts of self-righteous indignation. Posty is clearly not up to it. he needs learn from a pro like Ms Divine.