Please don’t ask me…..
Posted December 10th, 2006 in Industry, Culture
…..where the bloody scales are!
Honestly, if I get one more piss weak, hairy legged Fred without the punch to push a 39/21 obsessing to me about the overall weight of that full carbon Dura Ace dream bike on the rack I’m gonna scream.
It’s relative performance and functionality that matters, not weight, got it?
Listen up folks, that bike (whatever you can afford and suits you) will be the best damn bike you’ve ever ridden, the bicycle industry has done an amazing job of bringing you the best technology ever seen on two wheels, just stop obsessing about it, enjoy the bike and what it can do for you.
Just shut up, stop buying into the bullshit and bloody well ride!
And while I’m at it, what is it about the inverse relationship between body weight and the need for a light bike? You know what I mean. It’s always the fat outta shape guys who spend far too much time on the internets that waste my time discussing the relative merits of reducing the rotating mass of a set of wheels by 100 grams.
Dude, you’re 100 kilograms, light is wasted on you.
You see the same thing at the beach. People who shouldn’t be wearing that skimpy Brazilian cut swimsuit usually are. And no, I don’t care how much money you have to spend, listen to what I’m saying grasshopper.
I’m like Caine’s mentor Master Po in Kung Fu, you must first snatch the volute spring from my hand, before talking to me about weight.
Oh, and one last thing. When the revolution comes, I’m gonna hunt down every last bicycle marketing guru who pushes the weight meme like they’re a crack dealer. Just think of it as payback for making my sales life a living hell while you’re swinging gently from that lampost in the town square.
PS. Certain individuals I know and love are exempt from this rant.
technorati tags: cycling, bicycles, marketing, culture
What others have to say…
December 10th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Have I ever mentioned how light the Masi 3VC carbon bikes are? Very…
I’m hoping I’m one of those who are exempt when the day of reckoning comes… I really do.
December 10th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
The exemption list is getting longer by the minute, but really the real culprits would never recognise themselves in this post.
December 10th, 2006 at 11:37 pm
Ahhh the glorious Australian public, where would we be without them? I firmly believe you should help them reduce the load by lightening their wallets as much as possible.
December 11th, 2006 at 9:17 am
I’m not sure whether I’ve explained to you my Direct Law of Lycra, Phil. That’s the hypothesis that for any given cyclist, the likelihood of them wearing lycra is directly proportional to body mass index.
I call for properly funded research into this phenomenon, using correct double-blind testing. (I volunteer to be doubly blind).
…
Leg hair is a glorious thing.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
Jaysus H. Chriost, my partner has Aus built Ti road frame dating from the late 80’s. Now going purely on anecdotal evidence, this frame is *still* lighter than most carbon blingbling you’ll find in the LBS. Sucker. Born. Every. Minute.
December 11th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
The carbon revolution is yet to touch me… Long live aluminium.
And my next purchase, a scandium Ridley frame perhaps.
Carbon is for wimps.
December 24th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Other than forks and seatpost, recent upgrades which made a difference in terms of comfort, carbon fiber free zone! I’m getting a road bike some time next year, depending how much a trip to Europe pummels me, and it isn’t going to be CF. At the moment it’ll probably be Baum because a) I can and b) they’re bloody gorgeous 
December 24th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
Baum’s are sweet Euan, can’t argue with that. And any custom build is going to be more comfortable that an off the rack fit.
Nice. And no excuses about your ridin’ after you’ve done the deed. Heh!
[…] Please don’t ask me…. Well, you can, but you might not like the answer. […]
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Poor Phil
Sounds like it must be Christmas time … “while I’m doing Christams shopping what can I buy myself” time?
I read this aloud, in between giggles, to Andrew who sat there with a silly sheepish grin on his face.
We all know this is so true, but I think the rationale is that it’s easier and quicker to shave 1g of weight off the bike than it is for an individual to shed 10 or more kilos.